Friday, February 23, 2007

Addendum

This is the conclusion of my post yesterday about the challenge of raising children. It is really two examples about how life changes and how often we have to adjust our attitudes, either good or bad.

#1 - During the time my two daughters were very young I had a very dear friend, Bev, who had a little boy, Larry, 1 year younger than my girls. As stated in the original post my two little girls were usually very well behaved and obedient. Larry, on the other hand, was a typical, rambunctious little boy. The type that was always getting into some type of adventure that usually ended up with his getting in trouble.

Fast forward about 10 years...... my David is the age Larry use to be. One day Bev and I were shopping. David was doing the usual: peeking under the dressing room doors, hiding under the clothes rack, just being his normal rambunctious self. Suddenly my dear friend said, "Susan this does my heart good!" I said "What do you mean?" She related how when Larry was that age and we'd be out together and I would act like I didn't even know her. I said, "I DID not". To which she replied: "Oh yes! For example, I remember once in a furniture store when Larry was jumping on the furniture and you, with your 2 girls, just walked about 20 feet ahead of me and pretended like you didn't know me". I didn't specifically remember doing that but I probably did!!! The moral of this one......be careful of your judgements on other people the circumstances can change and you'll be "eating your words" or in this case, my actions.

#2 - I had the 4 children. Their ages were about 2, 7, 15 & 16. David's friend, Rodney, (who I spoke about in the previous post) was an only child. His mother, Mary, and I became friends. Rodney's father was a lawyer and they lived in a much bigger home down the street from us. When I would visit at Mary's everything was always in perfect shape. Everything clean, shiny and in its place. Not a speck of dust on the Ethan Allen Furniture. Mary would come to my home and it always seemed like I was in the middle of folding a large pile of laundry, toys would be strung out across the living room, the girls school books would be all over the kitchen table. You get the picture. Seems like I would begin each visit apologizing for how messy everything was.

Fast forward about 6 years.........Mary had 3 more sons in a space of about 5 years! Right after the birth of her 4th son I went down to visit and see the newest baby. Her mother had come in from another city to help out, there were wet clothes hanging all over the living room, the other 2 infants were banging items or rolling cars on the Ethan Allen Furniture. You get the picture. I said to Mary and her mother, "This does my heart good!". They said, "What do you mean?" and I relayed the story of how I would feel years before when Mary, with her only child, would come into my disheveled home of 4 children. The moral of this story.......times and circumstances do not remain the same and I've learned not to be so harsh, critical or judgmental of either myself or others.

9 comments:

weavermom said...

Being in the midst of the "messy phase" myself, this was good to read! I had a neighbor stop by yesterday and she came into my home and said "Good Lord honey."

Yes, oh my.

Ginger said...

Once again you are very right. Besides, sometimes we get so busy looking at stuff instead of seeing the needs of the heart. God has really been showing me lately that hurting hearts matter so much more than a clean house and all of my ducks in a row...even if my post yesterday was about my husband driving me nuts right now, haha! This, too shall pass, but my friends who need a shoulder to cry on should be able to come into this house any day, any time and feel loved without the worry of how my face will look if they catch me in a mess.

Just Mom said...

I love your stories. Thank you.

Penless Thoughts said...

Weavermom - I laughed at the "Good Lord honey". If we've had children we've all been there!

Ginger - Love the new picture.

No wonder you and I relate so well!! I enjoyed my chuckle over the cat's whiskers. Too funny!

I emailed my David to be sure and read my blog that day. He said he was honored to be in it. Being new to blogging I wasn't sure how my children would react to my sharing about them.

Alishs - Thank you!

Penless Thoughts said...

Ginger - Answered yesterdays with the first comment. Sorry.

Trust me, the older you get the more you realize that ALL that matters is our relationships: first with God, then with family, then with our brothers and sisters in the Lord, and how we treat those others outside our circle of influence.

Momma Roar said...

You are such an encouragement to me. Thank you, again, for sharing your stories! I tend to get rather consumed by 'what I need to do' rather than what the Lord desires me to do. Dirty dishes can be put on hold, my children are only young once.

Penless Thoughts said...

Momnma Roar - Thanks:-) You are an encouragement to me!

My friend, Bev,(that I spoke of) use to say "It's important to do the things that stack up; i.e. dishes, laundry, ironing, etc. It doesn't take any longer to dust 1 weeks dust than 1 days, but 1 weeks worth of dishes, or even a days, versa a weeks, or a months washing and ironing. Now that's a different story"!! Great wisdom in that I believe.

Momma Roar said...

That is good advice. I have to remember that if I can get at it right when it needs done, rather than waiting till evening, I feel much better and like I accomplished more. Because with 3 under 5, sometimes I don't always feel like I accomplished a lot :)

Ame said...

yes ... i have "eaten" every word i ever said! i say no more words :)