Friday, February 16, 2007

Our Funny Language #III

The following comments are from a teacher who taught English to foreign students.


HEY! WATCH YOUR LANGUAGE!

dO MY TEENAGE STUDENTS get WHAT i SAY, OR DOES MY LANGUARE throw them for a loop?

These colloquialisms make no literal sense to very literal language learners and I CATCH MYSELF using them.

On CHECH-INN day they are told to SIGN UP and CHECK IN with the registrar. The nurse will CHECK OVER your immunization records. She'll CHECK OFF the shots you've had and CHECK your eyes and ears.

The counselor will CHECK your transcript and CHECK WITH your former school to get your records. CHECK IN with him for an appointment. While your waiting CHECK THROUGH the Course Selection Guide and CHECK OFF the courses you might be interest in. CHECK carefully


Oh, CHECK IT OUT! We have a new international student! He's the one in the CHECKED shirt. Maybe He's a CZECH!

CHECK IN with me if you need help. I'll CHECK UP ON you in a day or so. I hope you don't mine this system of CHECKS AND BALANCES.

Fast forward to a typical day in the classroom.

Good morning, class! HAND IN your work before the bell rings, and RAISE YOUR HAND if you have questions. I don't want to GET ON YOUR BACK, but I expect this assignment to go HAND IN HAND with the other ones. Remember, always PUT YOUR BEST FOOT FORWARD. As high school students it's important to STAND ON YOUR OWN TWO FEET. And don't be TONGUE-TIED! Don't just WRING YOUR HANDS and stay at ARM'S LENGTH from help. STICK YOUR NECK OUT when you need help. Help is always AT YOUR FINGERTIPS.

CHIN UP! Don't worry about having EGG ON YOUR FACE. Our scores put us NECK AND NECK with our rival schools. If you put your NOSE TO THE GRINDSTONE, you'll never have TO LIVE FROM HAND TO MOUTH and people won't RAISE THEIR EYEBROWS when they see your scores. (They should KEEP THEIR NOSES OUT OF YOUR BUSINESS, anyway.) In this country, the best learners use a lot of ELBOW GREASE. I hope you will too. I'd GIVE AN ARM AND A LEG to start all over again.

So, I'll HAND OUT the work and you'll HAND IT BACK IN tomorrow. I've got to HAND IT TO YOU for even trying to study in English. Keep your HEAD ABOVE WATER and hold your head high. Good luck.




1 comment:

Linda said...

This is hilarious! I was an English major (a long time ago), so I just love stuff like this.