Our Funny Language #II

Yes, let's face it - English is a crazy language! Here are a few more items of note.

There is no egg in eggplant, nor ham in hamburger; neither apple nor pine in pineapple.
Sweetmeats are candies while sweetbreads, which aren't sweet, are meat.

We take English for granted. But if we explore its paradoxes we find; that quicksand can work slowly, boxing rings are square, and a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.

And why is it that writers write but fingers don't fing, grocers don't groce and hammers don't ham?

If the plural of tooth is teeth, why isn't the plural of booth beeth?
One goose, 2 geese. So one moose, 2 meese? One index, 2 indices?
Doesn't it seem crazy that you can make amends but not one amend.

If you have a bunch of odds & ends and get rid of all but one what do you call it?
If teachers taught, why didn't preachers praught?
If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat?

Sometimes I think all the English speakers should be committed to an asylum for the verbally insane.

In what language do people recite at a play and play at a recital?
Ship by truck and send cargo by ship?
Have noses that run and feet that smell?
How can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same, while a wise man and a wise guy are opposites?

You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language in which your house can burn up as it burns down, in which you fill in a form by filling it out and an alarm goes off by going on

English was invented by people, not computers, and it reflects the creativity of the human race, which, of course, is not a race at all.

That is why, when the stars are out, they are visible, but when the lights are out, they are invisible.

Why doesn't "Buick" rhyme with "quick"?

One last one - Why do we park on the driveway and drive on the parkway?

Have a blessed day.

Our Funny Language

Cleaning out files, which I am still involved with, is uncovering some unique items I'd forgotten about so I'll share another one today with you. Really makes you think.......try reading them out loud and they become tongue twisters.

This little treatise on the lovely language we share is only for the brave. It was passed on by a linguist, original author unknown. Peruse at your leisure, English lovers.

Why the English language is so hard to learn:

1) The bandage was wound around the wound.

2) The farm was used to produce produce.

3) The dump was so full that it had to refuse more refuse.

4) We must polish the Polish furniture.

5) He could lead if he would get the lead out.

6) The soldier decided to desert his dessert in the desert.

7) Since there is no time like the present, he thought it was time to present the present.

8) A bass was painted on the head of the bass drum.

9) When shot at, the dove dove into the bushes.

10) I did not object to the object.

11) The insurance was invalid for the invalid.

12) There was a row among the oarsmen about how to row.

13) They were too close to the door to close it.

14) The buck does funny things when the does are present.

15) A seamstress and a sewer fell down into a sewer line.

16) To help with planting, the farmer taught his sow to sow.

17) The wind was too strong to wind the sail.

18) After a number of injections my jaw got number.

19) Upon seeing the tear in the painting I shed a tear.

20) I had to subject the subject to a series of tests.

21) How can I intimate this to my most intimate friend?

Let's face it - English is a crazy lauguage.

Lets have some fun with this now and see if any of you, out there in blog land, can add to our list.

The Center Of His Word

I've been cleaning out some old files today and found this. Some of you may already be aware of this truth, but wanted to post it for those who may not know. Be blessed.

The Center Of His Word

Question: What is the shortest chapter in the Bible?
Answer: Psalms 117

Question: What is the longest chapter in the Bible?
Answer: Psalms 119

Question: What is the center of the Bible?
Answer: Psalms 118

There are 594 chapters before Psalms 118.
There are 594 chapters after Psalms 118.
Add those numbers up and you get 1188.

Question: What is the center verse in the Bible?
Answer: Psalms 118:8.

Question: Does this verse say anything significant about God's Perfect Will for our lives?

The next time someone says they would like to find God's Perfect Will for their lives and want to be in the center of His will, just send them to the center if His Word!!!

Psalms 118:8: "It is better to trust in the LORD
than to put confidence in men".

Now isn't that odd how this worked out!!!.....

(or was God in the center of it all?"

Blogging World Etiquette

I became vaguely aware of a blog page when a friend of mine at church told me she had one about 1 1/2 years ago. I have been reading hers since and found it a good way to keep up with her due to her busy schedule and not wanting to bother her by phone a lot. Then a couple of weeks ago she had a link on hers to http://noahsteven.blogspot.com. I went to it and was captivated with the writing of this young woman, wife and mother. It truly showed me what "blogging" was all about and I thought "I want to be a part of this wonderful world of blog!"

I've been gently tip-toeing my way into it and began to link on a few blogs here and there. Then Friday I came upon another that totally captivated me again. I have just spent hours and hours, for 3 days, reading everything this woman has posted since April of 2004. That's a LOT of reading. My wonderful, patient husband has been his usual wonderful and patient self and has put up with me being totally absorbed at this computer. I told him yesterday, "This too shall pass! Be patient, the newness will wear off."

My biggest problem at this point is I'm so new and so green. I especially am very concerned about the proper etiquette of the blogging world. For instance, I did not know if itwas proper to put this woman's link in this post, so you can see I didn't. The other thing is my husband & I need to learn how to put pictures on these blogs. I would love to have my picture on my profile but we have been unable to do so to date. I would have loved to post a picture of my red Caddy I wrote about. You can also see from the http I typed I don't really know how to properly link! I have also been having trouble posting comments on some of the comment pages. Not all. They seem to take my e-mail address but not my blogspot name. Oh de4ar, as I write this I realize how very confused and inept I am.

If any one can point me to something about blogging etiquette I will greatly appreciate it. We will eventually learn more of the technical aspects of it but I truly am concerned about the etiquette! My gray hair makes etiquette a very important factor in my life!!

Thanks for any help any of you can offer me.

The Secret

I don't know where the original of this came from but thought I would share it because I so totally believe that it says.

THE SECRET

One day, one friend asked another,

"How is it that you are always so happy?

You have so much energy,

and you never seem to get down."

With her eyes smiling, she said,

"I know the Secret!"

To which she replied,

"I'll tell you all about it,

but you have to promise to

share the Secret with others."

"The Secret is this:

I have learned there is little I can do

in my life that will make me truly happy.

I must depend on GOD to make

me happy and to meet my needs.

When a need arises in my life,

I have to trust God to supply

according to HIS riches.

I have learned most of the time

I don't need half of what I think I do.

He has never let me down.

Since I learned that "Secret", I am happy."

The questioner's first thought was,

"That's too cimple!"

But upon reflecting over his own life

he recalled how he thought a bigger house

would make him happy, but it didn't!

He thought a better paying job

would make him happy, but it hadn't.

When did he realize his greatest happiness?

Sitting on the floor with his grancchildren,

playing games, eating pizza or reading a story

a gimple gift from God.,

Now you know it too!

We can't depend on people to make us happy,

Only God in His infinite wisdom can do that.

Trust HIM!

And now I pass the Secret on to you!

YOU have to tell someone the Secret, too!

That GOD in His wisdom will take care of YOU!

But it's not really a secret...

We just have to believe it and do it...

REALLY TRUST GOD!

Works-For-Me-Wednesday Love Sweet Love Edition

This is a first for me and I am attempting to participate in Works-For-Me-Wednesday from http://rocksinmydryer.typepad.com site.

Since I have celebrated my 48th anniversary and since I have a wonderful marriage I feel I know a little bit about what it takes to write about Love-Sweet Love.

The secret is really so simple......Your husband should be your best friend! I would rather spend my time with my husband than anyone else in the world. My husband is the first person I want to share each and every thought with, each and every happy moment, each and every experience and even each and every sad time.

It is really important to LIKE each other. I have known people who love each other, but don't really like each other. I have also know people who have grown so far apart during their marriage that by the time they retire the wife doesn't truly even like having the husband around on a full-time basis. How sad.

The other success secret is not to keep a laundry list of "faults" or "past mistakes". Yes, when something bad happens that disappoints or hurts you (and trust me it will!) speak your mind and let him know that you didn't like it and why. BUT then forget it and never speak of it again. God throws our sins into the sea of His forgetfulness "As far as the east is from the west, so far hath he removed our transgressions from us."Ps 103:12 We need to do the same with those hurts, shortcomings and disappointments. A good saying to remember is "Put a zip on your lip". We had a pastor that said that and it is such good advise.

Of course the main thing is build your love and your lives around Jesus. "And if one prevail against him, two shall withstand him; and a threefold cord is not quickly broken". Ecclesiastes 4:12 With the 2 of you and the Lord you cannot fail.

Happy Valentines and MANY happy anniversaries!

A Soldier in God's Army

Our Sunday School class name is "From Sheep to Warriors". Isn't that a wonderful name. You know sheep are among the dumbest animals. They have to be lead by the sheep dog (who gently guides them) or worst yet they blindly run into the gate before turning, only to run headlong yet again into another gate. Certainly not "hearing the still small voice" or "My sheep hear my voice and no other shepherd do they hear." I want to hear God's voice.

Our teacher gave us this poem last week and I thought it was so good I wanted to share it.

A Soldier in God’s Army

I am a soldier in the army of my God. The Lord Jesus Christ is my Commanding Officer. The Holy Bible is my code of conduct. Faith, prayer, and the Word are my weapons of warfare.

I have been taught by the Holy Spirit, trained by experience, tried by adversity and tested by fire.

I am a volunteer in this Army, and I am enlisted for eternity. I will not get out, sell out, be talked out or pushed out.

I am faithful, reliable, capable and dependable. If my God needs me, I am there.

I am not a baby. I do not need to be pampered, petted, primed up, pumped up, picked up or pepped up. I am a soldier.

I am not a wimp. I am in place saluting my King, obeying His orders, praising His name, and building His kingdom.

No one has to send me flowers, gifts, food, cards or candy. I do not need to be cuddled, cradled, cared for, or catered to. I am committed.

I cannot have my feelings hurt bad enough to turn me around. I cannot be discouraged enough to turn me aside. I cannot lose enough to cause me to quit.

When Jesus called me into His Army, I had nothing. If I end up with nothing, I will still come out ahead. I will win.

My God has and will continue to supply all of my needs. I am more than a conqueror. I will always triumph. I can do all things through Christ.

Devils cannot defeat me. People cannot disillusion mw. Weather cannot weary me. Sickness cannot stop me. Battles cannot beat me. Money cannot buy me. Governments cannot silence me. Hell cannot handle me. I am a soldier.

Even death cannot destroy me, for when my Commander calls me from this battlefield, he will promote me to Captain, and then allow me to rule with Him. I am a soldier in the Army and I’m claiming victory

I will not give up. I will not turn around. I am a soldier, marching Heaven bound.