Friday, February 26, 2010

NEED A GOOD LAUGH?

I received this by e-mail but it is SO good I just had to share it with all of you here.

WARNING: I laughed until tears were rolling down my cheeks. This is the kind of humor I love. Hope you enjoy it as much as Mickey & I did.

UPS Airlines

Just in case you need a laugh:Remember it takes a college degree to fly a plane, but only a high school diploma to fix one; a reassurance to those who fly routinely in their jobs.

After every flight, UPS pilots fill out a form, called a 'gripe sheet,' which tells mechanics about problems with the aircraft. The mechanics corrects the problems, document their repairs on the form, and then pilots review the gripe sheets before the next flight.

Never let it be said that ground crews lack a sense of humor. Here are some actual maintenance complaints submitted by UPS pilots (marked with a P) and the solutions recorded (marked with an S) by maintenance engineers.

By the way,UPS is the only major airline that has never, ever, had an accident.

P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement.

S: Almost replaced left inside main tire.


*P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough.

S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft.




*P: Something loose in cockpit.

S: Something tightened in cockpit.




*P: Dead bugs on windshield.

S: Live bugs on back-order.




*P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200-feet-per-minute descent.

S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.



*P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.

S: Evidence removed.




*P: DME volume unbelievably loud.

S: DME volume set to more believable level..




*P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick..

S: That's what friction locks are for.




*P: IFF inoperative in OFF mode.

S: IFF is always inoperative in OFF mode.




*P: Suspected crack in windshield.

S: Suspect you're right.




*P: Number 3 engine missing.

S: Engine found on right wing after brief search..




*P: Aircraft handles funny. (I love this one!)

S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right and be serious.




*P: Target radar hums.

S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics.




*P: Mouse in cockpit

.S: Cat installed.




*And the best one for last

*P: Noise coming from under instrument panel. Sounds like a midget pounding on something with a hammer.

S: Took hammer away from the midget.

I WARNED YOU!!!!



post signature

14 comments:

Sharon said...

Susan
That was so funny thanks for sharing it. It was so nice to have a good laugh on Friday.
They did save the best till last.
Have a blessed weekend

Oklahoma Granny said...

I get lots of emails with things like this but I've never seen this one. It is too funny! I'm going to have to share with my husband when he gets home.

Thanks for the laughs. Have a wonderful weekend!

PEA said...

LOL thank you for the good laugh, dear Susan, loved this! hehe xoxo

Sandra said...

These are great. Laughter is a good medicine.

Kahri said...

This is one of the funniest emails I have EVER seen!!! I sent it to my dad who is a retired airline mechanic, I think he will get a big kick out of it too!! Thank you!!

Jillian, Inc said...

Hilarious! Thanks for sharing.

Sohailah said...

SO funny! Thank you! I love that!

Mari said...

I'm laughing out loud here. My daughter just asked if I was losing my mind because I'm sitting here laughing at the computer.
I'm sending this to my son, who works on Apache helicopters. He'll love it!

Mari said...

So - I sent this to my husband. He's about falling out of his chair, he is laughing so hard!

Nancy said...

That is really cute and good for a real belly laugh. Thanks

Jean Stockdale said...

What a great post!!

Thanks for stopping by and cmmentng on my post "The Secret." Renewing the mind with the Word of God and relinquishing the will and walking in obedience to the Spirit of God is the secret to living the victorious life. Shame on us for so often neglecting to do either or both! I am painfully behind on returning me some "comment love" to those who paused long enough to leave a note. For that I apologize, but occasionally life does get in the way.

In several weeks we are launching a new website for our ministry, Standng Near the Cross, and my blog will be incorporated into the website at www.jeanstockdale.com. I will continue to post on my current Typepad blog account for several months and have a link to the new blog when it goes live. I hope you will "make the move" with me and continue to stay in touch through the blogosphere. My goal is to encourage and inspire women through study of the Word of God-taking the profound truths of God's Word and making them practical for daily living!! May God bless you and keep you as the apple of His eye! Blessings.

Oh Sew Good said...

LOL! Very funny. :)

Kansas Bob said...

Very funny. I copied and forwarded to some friends who love to forward me funny emails.

Kathy said...

Danny's favorite: adjust o-n/o-f-f switch (I think he actually used that one when he was a mechanic.) Wow, now if only handling all issues was that easy. Too funny!!