Monday, April 30, 2007

A SINGLE DAD -



We pay tribute to people on our blogs all the time. I have done them to my FATHER, SISTER, and MOTHER. All these people are from my past and now reside with Our Heavenly Father in perfect peace and tranquility.





The person I want to pay tribute to today is our SON, Marc Stephen Joyce, who is currently in the crucible of a very difficult and unfortunate situation. Being a SINGLE DAD.


This role was thrust on him suddenly. He was given a one week notice. It was not a role he EVER thought he would find himself in or EVER wanted to be in. It is a role he has grasp with all of his being and is doing a fine and wonderful job.





How do you go from being a father, who has a stay-at-home wife, an 8 year old son, an 11 year old daughter, and works an 8 to 5 job, to being the one who does it all? You JUST DO IT!! One step-at-a-time and one-day-at-a-time and even while your own heart is breaking and you are reeling from the circumstances and the reality of what has suddenly hit you between the eyes.





In the midst of this grief and agony have been many blessings and many challenges. The first blessing was that he was given a huge pay raise and promoted to Firm Administrator at the company where he has worked for 12 years. In addition, he was given the opportunity of working his own schedule around the needs of his two young children. Technology is such a wonderful thing in allowing him to stay "in tune" and "plugged in to" his work with out having to have an 8 to 5 presence. His current schedule consists of rising very early each morning at 5 a.m. and getting in 2 hours of work time, via computer, before waking the children at 7 a.m. After preparing breakfast and seeing they are all dressed and ready he drops Aric off at his 2nd grade class and Oksana at her bus stop and then gets to work around 8:30. He works straight through, seldom taking time out for lunch, and leaves the office at 2:15 in order to pick Aric up at 2:35 and then Oksana up from the bus stop at 4.





It has been a challenging year. Oksana was promoted from her elementary 5th grade class into middle school. Based on her academic standing she was able to transfer into one of Tulsa's most elite middle and high schools. She tried out for and was selected for the 6th grade Pom Squad. Marc became the Pom Dad among all the Pom Mom's and has taken an active roll in the activities and requirements of this role. Getting her to and from all the practices, attending the various games and even a trip to Oklahoma City where her squad won the first place State Trophy for 6th grade Pom. He has held slumber parties, helped with homework and all the sundry requirements of a young pre-teenager growing up fast. Hair appointments, shopping, gift buying, birthday and other various parties, etc.





Aric was promoted from 1st to 2nd grade and luckily remained in the same school. He was Student of the Month for February. He has not required the extra-curricula activities of his sister yet and has been totally involved with not only making wonderful grades but excelling at various computer games, building very complex Lego and Connectx structures. Both of the children have their own computers!!! Unbelievable to Grandpa and I that they are a 3 person, 3 computer family. The direct result of Marc's IT prowess with computers at his place of employment, in addition to Firm Administrator. Next year Aric will be getting involved in Cub Scouting which will add another dimension to his life and Marc's duties.





I would like to tell you it has been 13 months of per bliss and no problems. I would be lying. There have been many emotional and behavior problems. There has been much adjusting and coming to terms. But there has been much growth and much progress and the horizons are looking clear and things are coming more into focus for all three of them.





It has been Grandpa and my joy and privilege to play a small helping role but by and large Marc has not only taken it on himself but has preformed honorably and with great distinction.





We are soooooo very proud of you three.
MARC - OKSANA - ARIC

26 comments:

Jill Norwood said...

What a very touching tribute. It sounds as if your son has taken on a very challenging life change with great success! I can tell you are proud...and rightfully so!

Susie said...

Your son is a saint! Wow, it is by the grace of God that he has done so well. I am so impressed, and I will pray right now for his continued strength and patience. I can't imagine being thrown into such a role. His mama taught him well, I see. What a beautiful tribute.

nuch a chosid said...

beautiful!!! may you enjoy them in good health till 120

Lori B said...

What a neat tribute to your son.
He really has taken on a lot. Bless his heart. Kudos to him.

I'm glad he has such a flexible job. What a blessing that is.

Just Mom said...

I don't think single parents get near the amount of praise and support as they should. You have a lot to be proud of in your son -- and your grandchildren.

Trella said...

What a wonderful tribute to your son.
I will certainly lift them all in prayer. He deserves a big hug. Bless his heart to be put in that position and have to keep going for the children.
How proud you must be of your grandchildren with all they have gone through to still be doing so well in school. I am sure it hasn't been easy for them either.
If your son was my son I would be very proud.

Jungle Mom said...

You did a great job raising him ! What a great man. Be proud of how he is handling this difficult situation.

~Ginger said...

I know you cannot begin to even put into words what love you have for this son and his children. Our families are such an extention of ourselves and we hurt when they hurt and we are so proud of all they conquer in this life.
Mark is a man to be very, very proud of. Life has not handed him an easy road, but he sure is taking the high road. May God's hand be upon him and guide Him every day as he strives to be the best dad he can be for those two kids. Blessings to gr and grm as well :)

Candy said...

This post really tugged at my heart thats for sure. I have a cousin who is also a single Dad. Sounds like a similar story...that one day out of the blue he became a single Dad. It broke my heart BUT he is doing well too and makes me so proud of him. It is so nice that you did this tribute.
Love Candy

jennifer said...

Wow, you have penofjen blinking back tears. Praise God that you raised such a son, that hasn't given up.
This is a wonderful tribute. Many times we recognize those who have passed away and forget that the living need the exact same support.
Great job to you all.

Susie said...

Beautiful tribute to your son, Marc. I'm sure it's been challenging, but he seems to have done admirably well!
:)

Jennifer Pendley said...

Susan-
That brought tears to my eyes and joy to my heart. What a wonderful father. I know one day in the future his kids will look back and see all he sacrificed for them. That is wonderful that he has just stepped up to the plate and done it all. I don't even know that I could handle all of that and I still have Craig here! You have raised a wonderful son and he in turn will bring up wonderful children also. Way to go!!!!

Ruth said...

What a wonderful man you have raised. I am sorry that he and his children have had such a difficult year. I pray that God will continue to turn this situation around for their good and His glory.

Frazzled Farm Wife said...

Hats off to your son and to you and your husband as well. You must have done a wonderful job raising him. You must be so proud of him and your grandchildren, sounds like they are very smart kids. With so many kids out there without dads in their life, I admire your son being so active in his children's lives!!!

Pam said...

God love his heart! Men like these deserve so much respect! I admire good single dad's so much. Right now my brother has a friend going through a similar thing. Will you please let Marc know my prayers are with him and his precious family? Thank you! And let him know that I think he has quite a wonderful mom! LOL

Our Peculiar Life said...

so true! And the kids are going to benefit so much from their real life hero. :-)

Myrna said...

It sounds like your son is doing a terrific job.

My dad was a single dad for a good part of my growing up years. As a child/teenager, I did not always understand--or agree with--his decisions. As an adult, I know he was doing the best he could and always wanted to do what he thought was best for us. My sister and I shared some real adventures with him.
Blessings to your son and his family.

marallyn ben moshe said...

what a special post penless...bless your son and all of you...if God brought you to it, He'll bring you through it...add my prayers to yours...stay safe...shalom and love

Leann said...

I have a son in law who is going through the same thing.he is doing very good.some times life is hard but the Lord sees us through it all.

Heidi Jo said...

that's the true definition of a father (or mother). biology can make anyone a 'parent'...but only a heart like that makes them a dad.

God bless him. i'm sure that he is doing just what comes naturally. loving his kids.

PortraitofPeter said...

I was 'deeply touched' by your 'moving' portrayal of your wonderful son and your grandchildren.

I admire his determination and strengths and his character is in the love of his most wonderful parents.

Blessings to you all.

Michelle Franzen said...

What a beautiful tribute. He sounds like an amazing man and father. You must be very proud!

Christy said...

He really has been through a lot-and despite the pain of the circumstances he sounds like he is doing great!!

Your grandchildren and son will get through this because they have the support of their family and each other.

You have a right to be proud of him!!

groovyoldlady said...

You have every right to be proud!

Linds said...

What an exceptional man he must be, and how proud you are, and rightly so!

Susan Kelly Skitt said...

God is our help and our strength, isn't He Susan?

My brother-in-law has been a single dad for many years. His son and daughter are now in college (his wife left him when the kids were elementary school age) and through the prayers and help of friends and family and leaning on the Lord, God continues to see Him through. He runs his own contracting business, so like your son, God has allowed him to be there for his kids.

Blessings to you Mom and Grandmom. You are so important to your family and others too.