Monday, July 14, 2008

GRANDCHILDREN

I just received this in an e-mail this morning and it was too good not to share.
Enjoy - Smile - Laugh

She was in the bathroom, putting on her makeup, under the watchful eyes of her young granddaughter as she'd done many times before. After she applied her lipstick and started to leave, the little one said, 'But Gramma, you forgot to kiss the toilet paper good-bye!'

My young grandson called the other day to wish me Happy Birthday. He asked me how old I was, and I told him, '62.' He was quiet for a moment, and then he asked, 'Did you start at 1?'

After putting her grandchildren to bed, a grandmother changed into old slacks and a droopy blouse and proceeded to wash her hair. As she heard the children getting more and more rambunctious, her patience grew thin. Finally, she threw a towel around her head and stormed into their room, putting them back to bed with stern warnings. As she left the room, she heard the three-year-old say with a trembling voice, 'Who was THAT?'

A grandmother was telling her little granddaughter what her own childhood was like: 'We used to skate outside on a pond. I had a swing made from a tire; it hung from a tree in our front yard. We rode our pony. We picked wild raspberries in the woods.' The little girl was wide-eyed, taking this all in. At last she said, 'I sure wish I'd gotten to know you sooner!'

My grandson was visiting one day when he asked, 'Grandma, do you know how you and God are alike?' I mentally polished my halo while I asked, 'No, how are we alike?' 'You're both old,' he replied.

A little girl was diligently pounding away on her grandfather's word X-AntiVirus: checked by AntiVir MailGuard (Version: 8.0.0.18; AVE: 8.1.0.35; VDF: 7.0.3.224) processor. She told him she was writing a story. 'What's it about?' he asked. 'I don't know,' she replied. 'I can't read.'

I didn't know if my granddaughter had learned her colors yet, so I decided to test her. I would point out something and ask what color it as. She would tell me and was always correct. It was fun for me, so I continued. At last she headed for the door, saying sagely, 'Grandma, I think you should try to figure out some of these yourself!'

When my grandson Billy and I entered our vacation cabin, we kept the lights off until we were inside to keep from attracting pesky insects. Still, a few fireflies followed us in. Noticing them before I did, Billy whispered, 'It's no use, Grandpa. The mosquitoes are coming after us with flashlights.'

A second grader came home from school and said to her grandmother, 'Grandma, guess what? We learned how to make babies today.' The grandmother, more than a little surprised, tried to keep her cool. 'That's interesting,' she said, 'how do you make babies?' 'It's simple, ' replied the girl. 'You just change 'y' to 'i' and add 'es'.'

Children's Logic: 'Give me a sentence about a public servant,' said a teacher. The small boy wrote: 'The fireman came down the ladder pregnant.' The teacher took the lad aside to correct him. 'Don't you know what pregnant means?' she asked. 'Sure,' said the young boy confidently. 'It means carrying a child.'

A nursery school teacher was delivering a station wagon full of kids home one day when a fire truck zoomed past. Sitting in the front seat of the truck was a Dalmatian dog. The children started discussing the dog's duties. 'They use him to keep crowds back,' said one child. 'No,' said another, 'he's just for good luck.' A third child brought the argument to a close. 'They use the dogs,' she said firmly, 'to find the fire hydrants.


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11 comments:

Charlotte said...

These are priceless. It's amazing how children think. It reminds me of a story a friend in California tells. She was telling her son that she was the tooth fairy. His response was, 'No! - How do you get into all those houses?"

Susie said...

Hi Susan,
Thanks for all the smiles today. I loved the one about kissing the toilet paper!
hugs

Jessica said...

I love the firefly/mosquito story! My husband and I were just out the other night watching fireflies so when I read this I laughed and laughed.

Thanks for sharing these.

Frazzled Farm Wife said...

LOL....they were great!

Anonymous said...

These do bring smiles to me today. Thanks for sharinng. The fireflies one reminded me of our 2 grandsons who a couple of weeks ago got a jar and captured about 25 fireflies in our backyard. I don't us any pestisides so guess they really like our yard//so do the misquitoes, too.. Don

Karla @ Ramblin' Roads said...

Very cute!!!

Ross' Cottage said...

I needed this smile and laugh I just got from reading these! Especially the pregnant fireman!
Of course that makes sense...in a kids mind!

It's All Good! said...

Those are so funny! The world would be so bleak without the innocense of the kiddos!
God bless,
Brenda

Pam in Colorado said...

I love the logic of little ones.

I wish I could find a disguise that would have my children coming to a trembling obedience, wondering who I was! :)

The Olson's: said...

Very cute!
~ Leanne

diana said...

thanks for the laughs =D