Saturday, March 7, 2009

RECALL NOTICE

RECALL NOTICE: The Maker of all human beings (GOD) is recalling all units manufactured, regardless of make or year, due to a serious defect in the primary and central component of the heart.

This is due to a malfunction in the original prototype units code named Adam and Eve, resulting in the reproduction of the same defect in all subsequent units. This defect has been technically termed 'Sub-sequential Internal Non-Morality,' or more commonly known as S.I.N., as it is primarily expressed.

Some of the symptoms include:

1. Loss of direction

2. Foul vocal emissions

3. Amnesia of origin

4. Lack of peace and joy

5. Selfish or violent behavior

6. Depression or confusion in the mental component

7. Fearfulness

8. Idolatry

9. Rebellion

The Manufacturer, who is neither liable nor at fault for this defect, is providing factory-authorized repair and service free of charge to correct this defect.

The Repair Technician, Jesus, has most generously offered to bear the entire burden of the staggering cost of these repairs. There is no additional fee required.


The number to call for repair in all areas is: P-R-A-Y-E-R. Once connected, please upload your burden of SIN through the REPENTANCE procedure. Next, download ATONEMENT from the Repair Technician, Jesus, into the heart component.

No matter how big or small the SIN defect is, Jesus will replace it with:

1. Love

2. Joy

3. Peace

4. Patience

5. Kindness

6 Goodness

7. Faithfulness

8. Gentleness

9. Self control

Please see the operating manual, the B.I.B.L.E. (Believers' Instructions Before Leaving Earth) for further details on the use of these fixes.

WARNING: Continuing to operate the human being unit without corrections voids any manufacturer warranties, exposing the unit to dangers and problems too numerous to list and will result in the human unit being permanently impounded. For free emergency service, call on Jesus.

DANGER: The human being units not responding to this recall action will have to be scrapped in the furnace. The SIN defect will not be permitted to enter Heaven so as to prevent contamination of that facility. Thank you for your attention!

GOD

P.S. Please assist where possible by notifying others of this important recall notice, and you may contact the Father any time by 'Knee mail'.

Because He Lives!


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19 comments:

Humble wife said...

Susan!! Wonderful post!

Kathy said...

Susan, I love this. Especially "knee mail!" Blessings-Kathy

Betty said...

Such a smart post, for all those us who speak in computer "language".

Hope you have a good Sunday!

Mari said...

This is really good - funny in parts but so true!

Brenda said...

How fun that one is! Very relate-able.

diana said...

i love these little anecdotes. for me, it makes me think about something i already know in a slightly different way.

thanks for sharing.

Nadine said...

I love this Susan, very creative.

michelle said...

That was excellent! God bless and huggles.

This Country Girl said...

That's great Susan! I love this!

Tammy

MeMaw said...

Knee mail...I love that!

Saija said...

*smiling*

now ain't that the truth!

blessings on your sunday!

Dawn said...

Thought provoking. Fabulous.

Susan said...

I love this!! What a eye opening "food for thought" post.

Hugs,

Susan

Edge of Design said...

I've seen that before. It's very cute!

Kristie said...

Very cute, but very, very true. Thank you for a reminder that even I could understand!! =)

Nancy said...

So very true, I like the anecodotes

The Young Artist said...

Aha! Beautifully spoken. Couldn't have said that better myself. I like that and I deffinatly will take that to heart. This really gets to people of the new 'millenium.' Teehee. Have a nice day.

Susie said...

Wow, this is really good! Love it, and so true.

MightyMom said...

always a good one.