Saturday, September 28, 2013

MARKING TIME


 Suzette and I - 2007
Celebrating our December Birthdays
Me 70 - Suzette 53

Christmas 2008
This was my "silly gift" to the girls. 
Suzette - Oksana - Jessica - Jacque - Susan 

October 2008 - In Oklahoma City during Mickey's Heart Bi-Pass
We were so worried about him having this procedure at age 75


 Our last official family portraits - December 2008



 Christmas 2009
The shirts were Suzette's little gift for the girls.
Susan - Suzette - Jessica - Oksana - Jacque
(the girl on the end was a friend of Jessica's that joined us)

SEPTEMBER 28, 2010
The day this family would be changed FOREVER!
SUZETTE IS DIAGNOSED WITH STAGE IV LUNG CANCER 

It wasn't really lung cancer - the cancer was between her rib-cage and lung but had wrapped itself around the aorta from the heart which made it in-operable.  
She had gone in a few days earlier for a routine office appointment for pain in her shoulder.


 October 4, 2010 
Dave and Suzette celebrate Mickey and my 52nd anniversary
 October 16
Dave and Suzette have just returned from Bethesda, Maryland.
Her Oncologist had sent her there hoping she might qualify for a new experimental drug they were testing.  
She did not.
This is the last picture of her with her own hair.
   
 December 2nd
Taken at her home as we were preparing to take her for a CT Scan
Didn't she do a great job in selecting a wig that looked so natural.  People were not even aware it was a wig.
 December 17th
Out for a bite to eat, with Marc, Mickey and I after her chemo treatment.  She became very ill, we left immediately and she rode laying down in the backseat as we took her home.

 Celebrating our 4 December birthdays -2010
Suzette's the 13th
Jacque's the 22nd
Jessica's the 23rd
Susan's the 25th
Suzette's last birthday - age 56

Christmas 2010 at our house
Suzette was very sick and almost didn't make it
She always put on a good face and never complained.
Note she has on a jacket, she was always cold.

 January 2011
Taken at her home just before we took her for another CT scan

February 3rd
 At her beloved nephew Aric's 12th Birthday
She was so sick this day they almost didn't come, but you can see when she did she was enjoying herself and laughing.

The last time Suzette was ever out of her home, except for the chemo and Dr. appointments was in March, 2011 for Benny's Birthday.  Again, she was very ill.  It was the last picture I have of her and her Jacque but I could not locate it for this post.

April 1st 
Suzette and I attended a Cancer seminar at Cassia Hall.
It was a wonderful time you can read about it by clicking on the link.
Unfortunately I did not take my camera.
This was truly a final gift from God for Suzette and I.  We enjoyed the morning sessions and activities and we choose to eat lunch out on the patio in the sunshine of this beautiful day.  We left right after lunch, and did not stay for the afternoon session, because Suzette was feeling badly, but we did stop for our final ice cream cone on the way home at McD's.  We went through the drive-in and sat in the car with the windows down talking and sharing.  

April 22nd, 2012
Suzette is put in the hospital

April 29th
Suzette is released from the hospital 7 days later

May 8th is Mother's Day.
All the children are going to attend church with me.
We are all here waiting for her and Dave to arrive.
Dave brings Suzette in her wheel-chair, wheels her in the front room and she says:  "Mom I wanted to go with you so bad today and I'm too sick and can't but I had to come here today to see you and tell you."

Mother's Day - May 8th

May 11th
3 days later Hospice is call in.  Suzette sits on the couch in her living room, with us, talking to the hospice representative.  At the end she says, "I'm tired and need to rest."  We help her to her bed.  She never again is out of her bed.  

May 19, 2011
11:30 p.m.
Suzette goes to Heaven 


She fought her battle for 7 months and 21 days, a total of 234 days.
She was brave to the fault.
She never complained and she never asked "why me" very much.

She lived 57 years, 5 months and 6 day.

All the days ordained for me
were written in your book
before one of them came to be.
Psalm 139:16

The cross, with a tear drop, I wear around my neck daily was given to me by son, Marc, the first Christmas without her, 2012.

The Reunion Heart
Since Heaven has become your home
I sometimes feel I'm so alone;
and though we now are far apart
You hold a big piece of my heart.

I never knew how much I'd grieve
When it was time for you to leave.
Or just how much my heart would ache
From that one fragment you would take.

God let's this tender hole remain
Reminding me we'll meet again,
And one day all the pain will cease
When He restores this missing piece.

He'll turn to joy my every tear,
And when I wear this necklace near
It will become my simple way
To treasure our Reunion Day.




*******

No parents should ever have to bury their child. 

The one good thing I can say about our daughter's cancer, actually all who are stricken with cancer, it gives you time.  In the 7 months and  21 days from diagnosis to death there was not one thing unsaid that needed to be said, and all her wishes were carried out to a T by both Mickey & I.  We were with her most of those days and we savored each and every moment together, even in the pain and agony because we knew how short time was.
  
We are all GRATEFUL for those 7 months.
We are UNGRATEFUL for her not being here now and miss her terribly.
  We are GRATEFUL for the hope and truth that we will one day be together again.

*******
You never know how much time you, or your loved ones have.
Use every day wisely and treasure them as the gifts they are.

Our latest family portrait.
Last Family Photo
Missing son, David & Granddaughter, Jessica
and our beloved Suzette


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8 comments:

Mari said...

I remember traveling this journey with you via the blog. I remember all these pictures and all the prayers that accompanied each post. I remember that love you shared with her, each other and with the Lord as you went through this. I remember crying then, and today more tears were shed. You were a blessing to each other and I'm thankful that you can look forward to seeing her again - in perfect health!

retha said...

My emotions feels torn apart with you, my eyes feels the salty sting of too many tears and my heart is strengthened to know you look not only at the hurt of loss but also to our Comforter!

Humble wife said...

I cried today as I did when you first shared the news of her cancer and then the journey. I am saddened but overjoyed all at once as I know where you will be as I know where she is.

The line that always makes me ache is the one where no parent should ever have to bury their child. I am so sorry you had to Susan. I am so thankful that you are once again sharing sage advice on how we should live...and how we should appreciate each moment.

(((Hugs))) from Bill and I.

Sharon Larson said...

Prayers for you and your family. I also remember the journey through your blog. You really got me with the No parent should bury a child. I remember my bil saying that at his son of 21 funeral.
God is holding her now and you also. Prayers and hugs always and thanks for sharing these memories with us.

Frazzled Farm Wife said...

I can't even imagine burying a child!

So true that we never know how much time we have and that we should treasure every moment and remember to let those close to us know what they mean to us!

My sister went through cancer 2 years ago and is doing good now. She has an appointment in October and if all is clear will be considered "cancer-free". Cancer really SUCKS!

pearlie said...

Prayers for you and your family.
Hugssss

Sylvia said...

Susan, you've triumphed in Him over your sadness. Your children are indeed blessed tohave you for their mum.

Denny said...

I'm not much of a hugger but I don't know what else to say/do ((((hugs)))).