FRIENDS

Friend - n. 1) a person whom one knows well and is fond of, 2) an ally, supporter, or sympathizer.

Acquaintance - n. 1) Knowledge got from personal experience, 2) a person whom one knows slightly.

Pal - n. 1) A close friend.

Buddy - n. 1) a comrade; pal.

Comrade - n. 1) a friend; close companion,  2) an associate.

How loosely we throw around the name/title "friend".  

Five Characteristics of a Close (True) Friend by Frank Viola

1. A close friend rejoices in your joys and sorrows over your pains. A true friend is not just sympathetic, they are empathetic. They share your feelings, weeping with you when you weep and rejoicing with you when you rejoice.
2. A close friend won’t defriend you if you disagree. Friendships are tested when there is a disagreement. But true friends don’t cut you off because of it. They may tell you what they think you need to hear and vice versa. But they will do it in such a way where you can receive it. The reason is because you know they love you unconditionally more than they love their views.
3. A close friend stays in regular contact with you. I have friends who contact me from time to time and vice versa (once or twice a year). We regard each other as good friends. But a close friend this doth not make. Close friends communicate fairly regularly.
4. A close friend is someone whom you trust implicitly. They have earned your trust. Consequently, you don’t doubt that they have your back. And you don’t fear that they will stab you in the back. You trust them enough to confide in them about highly private and confidential matters. Close friendship brings with it disclosure (John 15:15).
5. A close friend will stand by you, defend you, even take a bullet for you when you’re under attack. To my mind, this is perhaps the highest measure of friendship or one of the rock-bottom “tests.” The posture of a true friend is, “If you hurt my friend, you’ve hurt me.” It is never, “Well, that person never did anything to hurt me, so it’s not my issue.” This attitude is what separates goats from black sheep.  True friends stand with and stand up for each other.

9 Things a true friend will never do.....by Mark & Angel Hack Life

1.  Criticize you for being flawed.

As flawed as you might be, as out of place as you sometimes feel, and as lacking as you think you are, you don’t have to hide all the imperfect pieces of yourself from a true friend.  They see your flaws as features that make you interesting and beautiful.

The quality of the happiness between two people grows in direct proportion to their acceptance, and in inverse proportion to their intolerance and expectations.  True friends love and appreciate each other just the way they are.

2.  Walk away when times get tough.

True friendship and good character is all about how a person nurtures another person when they are vulnerable and can give very little in return.  Thus, it’s not who’s standing beside you during good times, but the ones who stick by you through tough times that are your true friends.

So take note of who remains in your life when times get tough, especially the people who sacrifice the resources they have in their life to help you improve yours when you need it most.  Seriously, when you come out the other side of a difficult period in your life, look around you.  The people still standing besideyou are your true friends.

3.  Discourage you.

Unfortunately, some who seem like your friends will try to hold you back from your full potential.  It may be difficult, but don’t let these negative imposters bring you down.  Don’t ever let your so-called friends turn your sky into a ceiling.  Beware of friends who try to belittle your ambitions.  Small hearts and minds always do that.  The greatest hearts and minds – the people you should spend time around – make you feel that you, too, can become great.

Remember, encouraging things happen when you distance yourself from discouraging people.  Doing so doesn’t mean you hate them, it simply means you respect yourself. 

4.  Hold a grudge over your head.

Some people will refuse to accept that you are no longer who you used to be – that you’ve made mistakes in the past, learned from them, and moved beyond them.  They may not be able to stand the fact that you’re growing and moving on with your life, and so they will try to drag your past to catch up with you.  Do not help them by acknowledging their begrudging behavior.  Let go of their negativity,  find peace, and liberate yourself!

A true friend never holds the unchangeable past against you; instead, they help your repair your present and future.  If someone relentlessly judges you by your past and holds it against you, you might have to take matters into your own hands, and repair your present and future by leaving them behind.

5.  Lie to you.

When you keep someone in your life who is a chronic liar, and you keep giving them new chances to be trusted, you have a lot in common with this person – you’re both lying and being unfriendly to YOU.

If you know someone who avoids the truth by telling you only what you want to hear, they do so for their own benefit, not yours.  They are not a true friend and they don’t deserve to be treated as such.

6.  Pretend like they have all the answers.

If you think about the people who have had the greatest positive effect on your life – the ones who truly made a difference – you will likely realize that they aren’t the ones that tried to give you all the answers or solve all your problems.  They’re the ones who sat silently with you when you needed a moment to think, who lent you a shoulder when you needed to cry, and who tolerated not having all the answers, but stood beside you anyway.

Don’t look for a friend who will solve all your problems; look for one who will face them with you.  

7.  Take from you without giving back.

You deserve to be with friends who make you smile – friends who don’t take you for granted – friends who won’t leave you hanging.  When you notice that a friend is always taking from you without giving back, you might need to distance yourself from them for a while.  If they care, they’ll notice.  If they don’t, you know where you stand.

You should want to give, but you shouldn’t be forced to always give more than you get.  If you feel like you are being taken advantage of, respect yourself enough to confront the situation.  This doesn’t mean you have to stop being friends with those who you feel are at fault, but you need to evaluate your friendships and realize where to draw the line when you give yourself to certain people.

8.  Bully you.

It takes a great deal of courage to stand up to your enemies, but just as much to stand up to your friends.  Sometimes bullying comes from the most unlikely places.  Be cognizant of how your friends treat you, and look out for the subtle jabs they throw.  When necessary, confront them or distance yourself from them – whatever it takes to give yourself the opportunity to grow into who you really are.

Life’s too short to be hanging around people who try to control and manipulate you.  Anyone who does so is not a true friend.  Gain your independence by taking off the shackles and freeing yourself from these bullies.  

9.  Make you feel like you’re burdening them.

True friendship is never burdened with stressful promises and obligations.  What true friends do for each other should be done because they care and because they want to do them.  Period.

So don’t chase people.  They don’t need to be chased.  If someone is a true friend and wants you in their life, they’ll make room for you.  You shouldn’t have to fight for a spot.  Never, ever force yourself on someone who continuously overlooks your worth.

SOOOOOO are YOU A TRUE FRIEND????  

One of my favorite verses Proverbs 27:17 As iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another . NIV

I thank and praise God for the wonderful friends He has given me throughout my lifetime.

I desire to BE A GOOD FRIEND.

AGENDA

AGENDA - n.   A list of things to be dealt with.

I've been thinking a lot lately about people's AGENDA, especially on fb and blogging.  

As I look carefully at the various posts and entries of people I follow, I notice they seem to follow several main categories: 

1. Scriptures and words about various scriptures.  This consists of just words or pictures with an important message.
2. Our Christian stand. 
3. General quotations.
4. Daily happenings.
5. Family.
6. Church.  
7. Tips and advice on natural remedies,
8. Health issues and ailments.
9. Health advice and remedies.
10. Running, races, exercise.
11. The general state of our nation and the world. 
12. Political - either pro or con: democrat or republican; pro or anti Obama.
13. Gun control.
14. Recipes - ALL kinds.
15. Promoting a product.
16. Building a business.
17. Photos.
18. Funny pictures and jokes.
19. Complaining 

There are more, but these seem to be the bulk of what I see. The ones I post and blog about myself are usually

:  my faith, my family, my church and church activities, our friends, how blessed I am or God and what's happening in our live in general.  These are my AGENDA because they are my list of things to be dealt with.  

I would be interested to see if you see these's things as my AGENDA.  

I also wonder what you feel your AGENDA is and whether, from following you, I would see that as your AGENDA.  

Just some random thoughts. 

    

A NEW EXPERIENCE

Mickey & I recently joined up with 5 other families to form Coweta Milk Co-op.  We've been working on setting it up,getting all the guidelines, rules, procedures, etc. in place. We are rotation making the trip to Claremore, and Swan Diary, every two weeks.   

Mickey & I started off the rotation this morning. I had done all the preliminary things I could in advance. Purchased a receipt book, got the 4 families who ordered this week order's off our fb group page.  Figured the approximate bill for each family.  The milk and cream prices are set, but the cheese prices vary a small bit because the .5#, 1# and 2 1/2# bulk cheese come in hunks.

We wanted to get an early start so we started out at 8:49 on this beautiful, bright, clear, crisp morning.  Set our mileage counter to see exactly what the mileage and drive time would be.  

We could either take the turnpike and pay the toll, or we could drive the regular highway.  We opted to not go the turnpike route.  All was fine for our first 16.7 minutes as we travel from Coweta northward.  Problem #1 occurred when we turned too soon and ended up on the turnpike. No problem, we'll just take it on into Claremore. 

Problem #2 occurred when we got off the turnpike and weren't sure which way to turn, as we had not looked up directions using the turnpike route.  Nearing the turnpike exit Mickey takes his wallet out to pay the toll.  After paying the toll and exiting the turnpike we decided to turned right/West and went quite a few blocks.  After deciding it was too "city" we turned around and headed back East.  When it looked like we were getting too far into the country we decided to stop at a tractor business and inquire.  Where is Swan Diary?  We had been correct in turning West and was told it was behind the Motel Six.  So we turn around and head back East.  Then we see a Motel 8, not Six, and realize, yes, this is the correct street to turn on.  It was right there. Boy, were we relieved to be here!!!!

We park and go into the very small retail area with our list. The gentleman fills the order for the # of gallons of both raw & pasteurized milk.  He tells me the cream and the cheeses are behind me in the refrigerated case.  So I get our cream order and start on the cheese orders.  Problem #3 they were out of both Colby & Mozzarella so 2 of the gals did not get their order filled completely.  

We pick-up our plastic bags and place them in the area behind the seats in our HHR, start up the car to go and Mickey says, "Where is my wallet?"  WHAT......Problem #4 and the real problem has just raised it's ugly head.  We search the car, upside down, front seat, back seat, behind where all the bags are, under the seats, in the glovebox, under the floor mats, by the side of the front seats.  EVERYWHERE.  No wallet.  He goes back into the retail area thinking maybe he laid it on the check-out counter...NO.  Back to the vehicle again, and re-search all over again....NO.  We start up the vehicle and drive back out to the tractor place where he had asked directions, thinking maybe he left it there.....NO.  Nothing to do but head home, scans the wallet.  He is so angry with himself.  I'm thinking, "How could you loose your wallet?"  

To say we are both frustrated is an understatement but there is nothing to do but come on home.  We reset our mileage reader to obtain an ACCURATE mileage reading and make the return trip using HW66 and not the turnpike.  Mileage one-way is only 32.0 miles. Not bad at all. 

We return to our house to sort out and repackage the 4 individual orders and figure the exact cost per family.  It all adds up .....Praise the Lord to the total we had paid.  

Mickey had place a blanket in the back of the vehicle where we were putting the purchases and he thought perhaps he might find the wallet under that blanket......NO.  He did one final search of the car and low and behold....stuck under his front seat was said wallet.  BIG sign of total relief!!!  And a huge THANK YOU LORD!!!

I had my camera, was going to take pictures of this new adventure...guess what?  Not one picture.  Oh well hopefully when we make our next trip on November 20th, we'll know where to turn and how to do it correctly.

LIFE IS A TRIP AND A JOURNEY.  WE ARE DETERMINED TO ENJOY IT!!!

Keeping life in perspective....5 years ago today 

October 9, 2005 Mickey was having Double Bi-Pass Heart Surgery

YES

today was nothing, even with the little frustrations and issues. 

     

MARKING TIME

 Suzette and I - 2007

Celebrating our December Birthdays

Me 70 - Suzette 53

Christmas 2008

This was my "silly gift" to the girls. 

Suzette - Oksana - Jessica - Jacque - Susan 

October 2008 - In Oklahoma City during Mickey's Heart Bi-Pass

We were so worried about him having this procedure at age 75

 Our last official family portraits - December 2008

 Christmas 2009

The shirts were Suzette's little gift for the girls.

Susan - Suzette - Jessica - Oksana - Jacque

(the girl on the end was a friend of Jessica's that joined us)

SEPTEMBER 28, 2010

The day this family would be changed FOREVER!

SUZETTE IS DIAGNOSED WITH STAGE IV LUNG CANCER 

It wasn't really lung cancer - the cancer was between her rib-cage and lung but had wrapped itself around the aorta from the heart which made it in-operable.  

She had gone in a few days earlier for a routine office appointment for pain in her shoulder.

 October 4, 2010 

Dave and Suzette celebrate Mickey and my 52nd anniversary

 October 16

Dave and Suzette have just returned from Bethesda, Maryland.

Her Oncologist had sent her there hoping she might qualify for a new experimental drug they were testing.  

She did not.

This is the last picture of her with her own hair.
   

 December 2nd

Taken at her home as we were preparing to take her for a CT Scan

Didn't she do a great job in selecting a wig that looked so natural.  People were not even aware it was a wig.

 December 17th

Out for a bite to eat, with Marc, Mickey and I after her chemo treatment.  She became very ill, we left immediately and she rode laying down in the backseat as we took her home.

 Celebrating our 4 December birthdays -2010

Suzette's the 13th

Jacque's the 22nd

Jessica's the 23rd

Susan's the 25th

Suzette's last birthday - age 56

Christmas 2010 at our house

Suzette was very sick and almost didn't make it

She always put on a good face and never complained.
Note she has on a jacket, she was always cold.

 January 2011

Taken at her home just before we took her for another CT scan

February 3rd

 At her beloved nephew Aric's 12th Birthday
She was so sick this day they almost didn't come, but you can see when she did she was enjoying herself and laughing.

The last time Suzette was ever out of her home, except for the chemo and Dr. appointments was in March, 2011 for Benny's Birthday.  Again, she was very ill.  It was the last picture I have of her and her Jacque but I could not locate it for this post.

April 1st 

Suzette and I attended a Cancer seminar at Cassia Hall.

It was a wonderful time you can read about it by clicking on the link.
Unfortunately I did not take my camera.
This was truly a final gift from God for Suzette and I.  We enjoyed the morning sessions and activities and we choose to eat lunch out on the patio in the sunshine of this beautiful day.  We left right after lunch, and did not stay for the afternoon session, because Suzette was feeling badly, but we did stop for our final ice cream cone on the way home at McD's.  We went through the drive-in and sat in the car with the windows down talking and sharing.  

April 22nd, 2012
Suzette is put in the hospital

April 29th
Suzette is released from the hospital 7 days later

May 8th is Mother's Day.
All the children are going to attend church with me.
We are all here waiting for her and Dave to arrive.
Dave brings Suzette in her wheel-chair, wheels her in the front room and she says:  "Mom I wanted to go with you so bad today and I'm too sick and can't but I had to come here today to see you and tell you."

Mother's Day - May 8th

May 11th

3 days later Hospice is call in.  Suzette sits on the couch in her living room, with us, talking to the hospice representative.  At the end she says, "I'm tired and need to rest."  We help her to her bed.  She never again is out of her bed.  

May 19, 2011

11:30 p.m.

Suzette goes to Heaven 

She fought her battle for 7 months and 21 days, a total of 234 days.

She was brave to the fault.

She never complained and she never asked "why me" very much.

She lived 57 years, 5 months and 6 day.

All the days ordained for me

were written in your book

before one of them came to be.

Psalm 139:16

The cross, with a tear drop, I wear around my neck daily was given to me by son, Marc, the first Christmas without her, 2012.

The Reunion Heart

Since Heaven has become your home

I sometimes feel I'm so alone;

and though we now are far apart

You hold a big piece of my heart.

I never knew how much I'd grieve

When it was time for you to leave.

Or just how much my heart would ache

From that one fragment you would take.

God let's this tender hole remain

Reminding me we'll meet again,

And one day all the pain will cease

When He restores this missing piece.

He'll turn to joy my every tear,

And when I wear this necklace near

It will become my simple way

To treasure our Reunion Day.

*******

No parents should ever have to bury their child. 

The one good thing I can say about our daughter's cancer, actually all who are stricken with cancer, it gives you time.  In the 7 months and  21 days from diagnosis to death there was not one thing unsaid that needed to be said, and all her wishes were carried out to a T by both Mickey & I.  We were with her most of those days and we savored each and every moment together, even in the pain and agony because we knew how short time was.

  

We are all GRATEFUL for those 7 months.

We are UNGRATEFUL for her not being here now and miss her terribly.

  We are GRATEFUL for the hope and truth that we will one day be together again.

*******

You never know how much time you, or your loved ones have.

Use every day wisely and treasure them as the gifts they are.

Last Family Photo

Missing son, David & Granddaughter, Jessica

and our beloved Suzette

UNEXPECTED BLESSINGS

Just finished our 30 minute walk this morning and what a blessing it was. 

 1st) it was a cool 59 degrees when we left the house - wonderful.

2nd) we decided to walk a different route this morning in order to pick-up more trash since the route we'd been walking is looking very good.  Unfortuately, there was a LOT of trash along the way and our bag was getting full.  We passed one house where the woman who lived there was standing by the curb talking to another woman in her vehicle.  We passed them and said, "Hello" and got a little way past and she hollered at us.  When we turned around she said, "Do you have quite a way to go?"  I said, "Yes, a little bit."  She said, "Here, let me take that stuff from you and throw it in my garbage since you are being so nice to pick up trash as you go."  We took her up on that offer!!  Her name was Myrtle.

 3rd) as we were coming up the opposite side of our own street, about a 1/2 block from home, a young man was out installing a boom box speaker in his trunk.  He saw us and said, "Do you need help picking up trash?  I'll help you."  We told him thanks but we were almost done and home.  He said his name was CJ and if we ever needed any help, loading something heavy, or whatever, just know on his door and he'd come help us!!!  When I commented about how nice that was he said, "I love to help the elderly."

So we not only had our cool walk, got our 30 minute walk, made our neighborhood look a little neater  AND made 2 new "friends" today.

My fb friend Joseph Watson had just posted these words this morning:
"our english word for church comes from the greek word 'ekklēsiā,' which means 'called out.' how ironic, then, that the greek thinking at the heart of western culture has given us the concept that church is about going IN to a building for a scheduled service and not about going out. wherever two or more are gathered in his name, there he is in the midst of them.

I thought about having just read this before starting this walk.  I believe little things we can do "outside our walls" and sometimes even "outside our comfort zone" applied to that being 'called out".

What do you think?

UNEXPECTED MISHAPS & FAILURES

I don't know about you - but I am very glad that I know, without a shadow of a doubt, that God has, does, and always will provide according to His riches in glory, and not according to my ability. 

Let's be honest, there is NEVER a good time for some unforeseen, and unexpected, event to happen that we didn't have in the budget and were not expecting.  

Such was our experience last Thursday.  I walked out to the garage to get my ironing board to discover water running out of "somewhere" on the floor.  Because of the placement I came in and told Mickey, "Either the radiator on the car or the hot water heater is broken because water is coming from somewhere."  Issue #1 - Turns out it was the hot water heater.

My detailed, always on top of everything, husband checked to be sure what the size was, 40 gallons, before we headed to Low**e's to purchase a new one.  

We get our new 40 gallon hot water heater and head home.  We did have help putting it into the truck bed there but Mickey had to get it out by himself, with the littlest of help from me, when we got home.

He removes the old 40 gallon heater from it's spot and get's the new 40 gallon heater from the box.  Issue #2 - they may both be 40 gallon tanks, but the new one is shorter and wider, consequently none of the fittings, tubes, etc. are going to reach. Fortunately, we had some concrete blocks and a flat, square piece of lumber, and Mickey was able to raise the new tank to the correct height.  Yes, our God did supply.

Mickey got everything in place and ready to hook-up.  A friend of ours from church had called with the name of a young man who does side jobs, including plumbing, so Mickey gave him a call to come help us.  He was occupied on a job but said he'd be by after he finished.  Yes, our God supplied again because we had no idea who to call and Low***e's had wanted an extra $259 for installation. 

By 8 p.m. the new hot water tank is in place and ready to go and the final step of installation only cost us $65, a $194 savings since Mickey could and did do the bulk of all the work before calling for help.  

We had been saving for 4 new tires which are needed on our HHR so we had the $432 this little unexpected mishap ended up costing. I know somehow our God will provide the funds for those tires before we start having any flats or a blow-out. Yes, 

HE is our provider.  

MAKE-OVER

Strange how a major make-over can happen without any pre-planning. 

This make-over just sort of evolved.  It all began with deciding to let my hair grow out.  I have worn it very, very short for quite a few years now.   

2007 with my daughter Suzette

A recent picture with it longer.  Mickey asked me last night if I was going to let it keep growing.  I told him I really didn't know.  He said he'd like for me to get it long enough to put in a pony-tail.  We'll see!!

Can't remember how many months it's taken for it to grow out.  It was quite a chore because it was up over my ears on the sides.  It's a little longer than this now but I don't have a real recent picture. 

 The other area I REALLY need a make-over is on my weight.  I realized I was not going to have any success trying to lose the 24 lbs I need to lose without getting some type of exercise.

 I began walking daily (except Sundays) on August 23rd by walking around the block which took me 14 minutes. On September first I participated in a 7 Day Challenge that required I walk at least 30 minutes a day, so I began walking over to the neighborhood park and back. Mickey has been a real trooper and is walking with me.  The health benefits are as important for him as for me. 

These are the lovely, almost like new, because I have not been using them :o(: ,  tennis shoes that my daughter Jacque bought for me in September 2011 when I WAS being faithful about walking.  

This morning I went by myself, because Mickey was worn out from wrestling the 2 water heaters yesterday (another post about that later).  We had a very nice rain during the night, a slight breeze, and overcast sky this morning made it a very pleasant walk & I was able to increased my time to 36 minutes!!

Of course, along with this 7 Day Challenge was correction in eating with a list of 7 things not to eat or drink:  Soda (no issue to me), White Bread, Fast Food, Chips/Crackers, Sugary Desserts, Candy, Processed Meats, Alcohol (no worry about that one!).  I adhered to this and am still watching all these items.

Sorry to say I have not yet seen much of a decline in the pounds.  Only down 2.8 lbs. in the almost 3 weeks.  BUT I am not discouraged and I am determined.

The other area I badly need a make-over in is my sleeping.  I have never been a good sleeper, even as a kid, but it has gotten worse as I've gotten older.  The main problem I have is relying on the noise of the TV.  I am working hard to break this BAD habit.  I'll blog later about my success in that area as I achieve this sleep make-over.

I love the way God works things out in our lives.  We "just happen" to have started a new Wednesday night 9-week teaching by our Mrs. Pastor, Michele, on prayer.  Although I am a pray-er, and learned a lot about it about 13 years ago reading the book: Arthur Murray on PRAYER. the area I need work and change in is quieting my mind, and learning to sit before my LORD.  So this is another make-over in the works.

Wonder what other areas God will lead me into a major make-over of?

Lord, I'm willing. 

Are you in the midst of any major make-over?  Or are there any areas you know need a make-over and you just haven't taken that big step of commitment yet?

One thing we know for sure:  

JESUS is in the BUSINESS of make-overs.  

Making us into HIS image.